By Jamison Watt
Many Kurds treasure fond memories of breaking the Ramadan fast with family and friends. When I moved to Kurdistan in 2009, I was struck by these gatherings marked by family conversation over food, story-telling from elders, and a feeling of collective identity. These days, however, when describing the room during most family meals, most Kurds would be honest to admit there is a high amount of electronic screen usage and a low amount of cross-generational interaction. These trends are worrying not only for the passing on of cultural values, but for the health of the families of Kurdistan.
“When I was a kid, our family would always have lunch together,” says Rujhat, a twenty-four-year-old living in Erbil. “We would sometimes have discussions during the meal or while having tea and nuts later. But since people have become more modernized and individualized, this isn’t happening much anymore. Most people are just on their phones.”
With a much faster pace of life in Kurdistan’s urban centers, most parents and children have busier schedules and less families are making the time to eat meals together. The ubiquity of smartphones has further served to isolate family members who do manage to get to the table together.
“Due to a heavy work schedule and different shifts for the members of our family, it’s honestly a rare occasion we all can sit together,” says Sîpan, a young man whose family owns a restaurant in Erbil. “But I miss this and know there could be much better feelings of connectedness between the five of us if this wasn’t the case.”
A study posted in the journal Family, Systems, and Health recently surveyed over 1,000 adults across three countries about eating customs and habits in the home. The study found that there is a strong positive correlation between how often a family gathers together for meals and increased relational connectedness, reduced depression, and improved mood. Peer-reviewed studies also link regular family meals to the outcomes parents want for their children: improved emotional resilience, higher grades, better nutrition, and lower rates of obesity.
“It is important to know that the benefits of shared meals go beyond avoiding negative health outcomes and fewer depressive symptoms; this research shows that shared family meals promote happiness and positive emotions,” says study investigator William Doherty, a professor at the University of Minnesota in a first-of-its-kind study in the study’s overview.
I personally noticed the degradation of family meal culture in my home country of the United States a decade or so before it began to take hold in Kurdistan. The missed effects of social and emotional resilience on children have been so profound that it’s now common for pediatricians to advocate for family meals at doctor’s appointments.
“Remember what family meals used to be like before everyone had mobile phones that constantly ding and distract us from the people right beside us?” says Dr. Isaac Hatton, Adjunct Professor of Family Medicine at the University of Kurdistan Hewlêr. “It doesn’t have to be like this. For the health of our families and children, let’s turn our phones off and enjoy family meals the way they used to be.”